Please do me a favor and throw the damn thing away. Do yourself a favor and throw the damn thing away. It’s not helping or serving you in any way. It’s only hurting you. Taunting you. Ridiculing you. You know it’s true.
I used to be a slave to what the number on the scale said. How my mood was going to be that day was determined by what the scale said. Instead of asking a magic 8 ball how I was going to feel, I’d just step on the scale. I mean, Lord forbid, I try to actually see how I’m really feeling.
I remember once my brother pushing the scale numbers back, so that when I got on the scale, I’d think I had lost weight. He said he did that because he got tired of how upset I would get after weighing myself and wanted me to think I had lost weight. Though his heart was in the right place, he did not understand I was in the depth of an eating disorder. All that made me do was get pissed at him for tricking me. I would also have to make sure the line on the scale was perfectly lined up with 0 before stepping on the scale.
For those of you who been in treatment, you know that they weigh you standing backwards on the scale. Oh how I hated that in the beginning. I would try to gauge where I was by examining their reactions to my weight. I would ask if I gained or lost any from last time. In the beginning they would tell me. Never in numbers though. “You gained a little bit.” Or, “Your weight has dropped from last week.” They stopped telling when it was noticed how I would get depressed over the weight gains and happy over the weight losses.
For a few years after treatment, I did continue to stand backwards on the scale at the doctor’s office. I wasn’t ready to see the number. It was about three or four years later when I did finally start to face the damn thing head on.
I will admit that even to this day, it is one of my least favorite parts of any doctor visit. But so what?
Your weight is simply a measure of your relationship to gravity. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not a measure of who you are as a person. It does not measure how caring you are. How sweet you are. What a great friend you are. It does not measure any of your qualities that make you YOU. The doctor just uses your weight to notice any sudden gains or losses that may signal a problem. Also for you to try to stay in the “healthy” range for your height and shape.
Don’t allow the scale to rule your life. Throw it away. Smash it to bits. You don’t need that negativity in your life, let alone, in your own home. Get rid of it.
love and light, kelly