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You Are Not Your Disease!!!

You Are Not Your Disease!!!

You are not your disease!!!  Got it?  You aren't.  You are so much more than it.  Now the eating disorder wants you to believe you are nothing without it, that your whole identity is wrapped up in it. But that is a lie.  You are a beautiful...

Change the Tape In Your Head

Change the Tape In Your Head

You're fat.You cow.You're wearing that?You're so ugly.I can't stand you.No one likes you.You disgust me. Would you ever say any of those things to one of your friends?  No, of course not. Would you be friends with anyone who said this to you?  You say no....

Confessions of a Former Grudge Holder

Confessions of a Former Grudge Holder

Today I practice forgiveness.  Daily.  I am no longer the queen of grudges.  And I am much happier because of it.  That doesn't mean I don't still get mad at people.  I do.  I just feel the feelings and then let them go. I would get...

Relapse

Relapse

Relapse is a part of recovery.  It's going to happen.  Accept it. The most important thing to do when it happens is DO NOT beat yourself up over it.!  DO NOT!!!  You've spent years beating yourself up already. Now is the time to take care of you....

The Time When INXS Made An Eating Disorder PSA

I'm dating myself by saying this, but I saw this video for the first time many years ago when I was still sick.  It was late at night when it came on MTV, and I believe I was not sober.  The video made me cry.  It is a beautiful song and video.  Enjoy....

Anger

Anger

"You're a very, very angry girl." I sat there thinking, No shit, Sherlock. It was my first therapy appointment.  I just got through giving my new therapist the brief history of my life story and my eating disorder.  I knew I was angry.  At the world....

Asking For Help

Asking For Help

By the time I finally entered therapy, I knew what my eating disorder represented.  I had read all the books.  I had analyzed myself up one side and down the other.  I knew my e.d. was not about food.  It never is.  I knew it was a coping mechanism.  Starving myself...

This Is A Test

This Is A Test

There will be many times in recovery when things get tough. This is a test and you will be tested.  Be prepared. My first real challenge came about two years into my recovery.  My mother suffered a brain aneurysm.  If I hadn't been at home to call 911,...

A Losing Battle

A Losing Battle

YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!!!  EVER!!!! An eating disorder is a war with your mind.  One that you will never win.  You will never be thin enough to shut the ugly voice in your head.  Never.  No matter how thin you get, it will never be enough....

New Beliefs

New Beliefs

For recovery to be successful you have to believe two things:  you deserve recovery and you can recover. To be completely honest, I did not believe those two things when I began.  I was hoping I cold find a way to “maintain”  my eating disorder....